Finding my way through life without a drink
The bittersweet military. I joined May 26, 2009 with the intentions of getting my shit together. I was 20 years old, partying nearly every night, had no job, and no direction in life. I thought joining the Army would change all of that. Little did I know that 10 years later, I would finally realize …
Continue reading "I never let a war ruin me…but I feel like ruins war on me"
Since I quit drinking 4 months ago (yes, 4 months ago TODAY), life has become better. Less drama, guilt, and pain. More memories, focus on my family, and most importantly finding myself. My eyes have opened to a world I hadn't seen in many years. I have a freedom I've never had before. No more …
My personality is strong. I feel and I care way too much. It's both a blessing and a curse. I pay attention to every detail. I pick apart every word. I overthink and jump to conclusions. I can't even say jump because I mother fuckin' LEAP. Fights have occurred from too many misconceptions. I've spent …
Yesterday was....a day. I woke up from getting 8 hours of sleep, to feeling exhausted. I did not want to get out of bed for the life of me, but I had to for my daughter. That was about all I could muster up for a majority of the day. Why was I having such …
I shit you not, this is my second time writing this blog post. I wrote my heart out and IT DIDN'T SAVE. I debated to write it again, yet here I am. The past couple weeks have been rough. I've neglected writing here. I've been feeling really alone. Drinking crossed my mind last night. But, …
I have PTSD. And no, it's not because of any combat or "action" I saw overseas (I was in the military). It's from military sexual trauma (MST). Yep, that's right. I was sexually assaulted in 2012 by my first sergeant (1SG), someone who was supposed to lead our company to war; someone that I was …
Continue reading "I never let a war ruin me, but I feel like ruins war on me."
I decided to choose me. Finally, I'm being selfish for good reason. This blog and my page on Facebook have changed my life and perspective on things. Knowing that I've helped one person is enough for me. I'm honored that so many people my age have reached out to me and confided in me things …
My husband and I went and saw Heart and Joan Jett and the Blackhearts in concert Monday evening. Baby free and alcohol free. It was my first time ever going to something like this with no alcohol. In fact, I bought the tickets months ago, excited at the fact that Brian and I got to …
I woke up today, with greasy hair falling out of my half-assed pony tail because I didn't shower the day before. I didn't feel like it. It's days like this that the struggle is real. This definitely isn't out of the norm either. I consistently look like a piece of garbage- life of a stay …
People usually quit drinking for 3 reasons: 1. You got in trouble. 2. Your own volition. 3. Death. When people find out I don't drink anymore (all my non social media folk), the first thing they ask me is if I got into trouble. I did years ago, but not this time. I got a …
