Deciding to get sober was easy. Well, it was easy once I made the decision in my mind. But now what? Most people I know drink. Will they want to be my friend? Will they support me? What do I do in social situations to not draw attention to my alcoholism?
Here’s my answer. Fuck everyone who doesn’t support you. If they were a true friend, they’d know it was the best decision for you to quit. You will lose “friends”. You will stop going certain places for as long as you need to. Fortunately, my husband isn’t a drinker, so it makes it super easy to not be around at home. My mom and sister in town don’t drink either, which is another huge plus.
My problem is always social. I’ve felt for forever that I couldn’t go to a social gathering without alcohol. I wouldn’t have fun. I wouldn’t be as funny. The excuses go on and on. Looking back, my anxiety told me that I needed alcohol to be myself. Hell, I don’t even know who I am, so I don’t know how alcohol does!
For me though, not going to bars and parties is okay. I’m 30 years old with a baby girl- not much time for that stuff these days, anyways. It’s when I’m alone and bored and frustrated that the thoughts creep up. I just try to stay as busy as I can and focus on my responsibilities. I’m also working on getting hobbies. I like to garden, that’s how far my hobbies have gotten. However, I am taking an online class that keeps my mind occupied and helps tremendously with understanding what I’m going through.
Bottom line, people who care about you will support you and not ask you to be around something that hurts you. It will make your relationships stronger and healthier than ever before. It takes time, but it will all be for the better in the end. Being an alcoholic doesn’t have to be a hinderance. At first, I was ashamed, but now I see that it’s okay. Im perfectly okay with people knowing all aspects of who I am. It’s not for everyone though, so until you’re comfortable, you don’t need to explain anything to anyone.
Thanks for reading.
– Carrie Harmon