The Struggle Bus

I woke up today, with greasy hair falling out of my half-assed pony tail because I didn’t shower the day before. I didn’t feel like it. It’s days like this that the struggle is real. This definitely isn’t out of the norm either. I consistently look like a piece of garbage- life of a stay at home mom (SAHM).

When you’re staying at home all day, as a parent, it can become confining. You can really start to lose purpose and who you are. Darkness is easy when you’re vulnerable. I’ve been there so many damn times. It’s fucking hard to get out of, too. Sometimes, you have to fight so damn hard because you don’t know if you’ll make it out alive.

That’s where a crutch or vice comes in, naturally. I remember thinking, “a drink will give me energy” and a number of things like that. I depended on the bottle to fill something inside of me that only I (getting help, etc) could fix. A crutch won’t fix you, it’s only temporary.

Those bad moments, where all you feel like is a failure and you’ll never stop struggling, they don’t define you. You will get through; I did/am. I work on it everyday. I talk about it, which really helps me. You don’t have to do it publicly like I do, but as long as you’re talking to someone, that’s what is important and necessary. The first step in getting help is reaching out to someone.

People care about you, whether you think so or not. There is someone willing to listen to your problems. You don’t need to struggle alone. If you don’t have a good support person in your life, I AM ALWAYS HERE. Feel free to message or email me anytime with anything.

Thanks for reading.

-Carrie Harmon

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