I’m selfish

I decided to choose me. Finally, I’m being selfish for good reason.

This blog and my page on Facebook have changed my life and perspective on things. Knowing that I’ve helped one person is enough for me. I’m honored that so many people my age have reached out to me and confided in me things they tell no one. You truly never know who is struggling in silence.

Since this journey began, I’ve noticed a confidence about myself that I never had before. I care less about my appearance and more about what’s on the inside. I actually want to know and love who I am- which I’m still figuring out.

What I’m getting at is this. I want to help as many people as I can while taking care of myself at the same time. However, once you threaten my peace and sobriety, I have to put my foot down. You can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped. And you can’t keep putting yourself out there to keep getting hurt.

Alcoholism/addiction is a disease, a nasty little bitch that will take you for everything you are/have. If you allow people to use you, disappoint you, and mistreat you, you aren’t helping yourself.

Over the past couple weeks I have finally started standing up for myself. Even though it hurts, sometimes you have to let people go. I’ve always had a hard time letting go of anything, but I’m selfish and I am choosing me.

I understand that now. I get why friends have distanced themselves from me over the years. They had to let me find my own way, once I was ready.

When you’re ready, I will be waiting, but until then- get your shit together. I promise it will be worth it.

Thanks for reading.

-Carrie Harmon

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